How to Tell Wild Animals — Carolyn Wells
"If ever you should go by chance / To jungles in the east..."
1. About the Poem
'How to Tell Wild Animals' by Carolyn Wells (American poet, 1862–1942) is a HUMOROUS poem pretending to be a field guide for identifying dangerous wild animals. The joke: by the time you've identified the animal, it's already killed you.
Why This Poem
- FUNNY — rare in the syllabus
- Uses IRONY and dark humour
- Teaches animal characteristics through comedy
- Easy to memorise due to playful rhythm
- Light relief between heavier poems
2. About the Poet
Carolyn Wells (1862–1942)
- American poet and mystery writer
- Wrote 170+ books (mysteries, children's books, poetry)
- Known for LIMERICKS and humorous verse
- 'How to Tell Wild Animals' is from her humorous nature poetry
3. The Full Poem
If ever you should go by chance To jungles in the east; And if there should to you advance A large and tawny beast, If he roars at you as you're dyin' You'll know it is the Asian Lion...
Or if some time when roaming round, A noble wild beast greets you, With black stripes on a yellow ground, Just notice if he eats you. This simple rule may help you learn The Bengal Tiger to discern...
If strolling forth, a beast you view, Whose hide with spots is peppered, As soon as he has lept on you, You'll know it is the Leopard. 'Twill do no good to roar with pain, He'll only lep and lep again...
If when you're walking round your yard, You meet a creature there, Who hugs you very, very hard, Be sure it is the Bear. If you have any doubts, I guess He'll give you just one more caress...
Though to distinguish beasts of prey A novice might nonplus, The Crocodile you always may Tell from the Hyena thus: Hyenas come with merry smiles; But if they weep they're Crocodiles.
The true Chameleon is small, A lizard sort of thing; He hasn't any ears at all, And not a single wing. If there is nothing on the tree, 'Tis the Chameleon you see.
4. Animal-by-Animal Breakdown
Asian Lion
- How to spot: A large, brownish-yellow ('tawny') beast that ROARS at you
- The joke: You'll know it's the Asian Lion WHEN HE ROARS AS YOU'RE DYIN'
- Characteristic: Roar is the signature. But 'as you're dyin' = dark humour.
Bengal Tiger
- How to spot: Black stripes on yellow ('yellow ground'). Noble appearance.
- The joke: 'Just notice if he eats you' — and that 'simple rule' confirms it's a tiger.
- Characteristic: Stripes. But by the time you see the stripes up close, you're being eaten.
Leopard
- How to spot: Spotted hide ('with spots is peppered'). Leaps ('lept') on you repeatedly.
- The joke: 'As soon as he has lept on you, you'll know' — too late!
- Characteristic: Spots and leaping. 'Lep and lep again' = comic spelling and repetition.
Bear
- How to spot: Hugs you 'very, very hard'
- The joke: 'If you have any doubts, I guess / He'll give you just one more caress' — a 'caress' (gentle touch) that CRUSHES you.
- Characteristic: Bear hug. IRONY: 'hug' / 'caress' = violent killing.
Hyena vs Crocodile
- How to tell them apart:
- HYENAS = 'merry smiles' (they look like they're laughing)
- CROCODILES = 'weep' (crocodile tears — fake tears)
- The joke: Only the BEHAVIOUR distinguishes them — but both will eat you.
Chameleon
- How to spot: Small lizard. No ears. No wings. Cannot fly.
- The joke: 'If there is nothing on the tree, 'Tis the Chameleon you see.' — BECAUSE IT BLENDS IN perfectly. If you see NOTHING, it's THERE.
- Characteristic: CAMOUFLAGE — changes colour to match surroundings.
5. The Central Joke (Irony)
The poem pretends to be a HELPFUL GUIDE to identifying wild animals. But every 'method' requires the animal to ATTACK YOU FIRST. The irony:
- You'll identify the lion WHILE BEING KILLED
- You'll know the tiger WHEN IT EATS YOU
- The leopard confirms its identity BY LEAPING ON YOU
- The bear gives you a DEADLY 'hug'
The guide is useless — because by the time you've identified the animal, you're DEAD.
6. Themes
1. Humour through Irony
The 'guide' is completely useless — and that's the joke.
2. Danger of Wild Animals
Beneath the humour: these animals ARE dangerous.
3. Human Foolishness
The poem mocks people who think nature is safe and predictable.
4. The Absurd
Life's absurdity — giving advice that cannot possibly be used.
5. Survival... Not
You WILL NOT survive following this poem's advice.
7. Literary Devices
Irony (Situational)
- The 'guide' is useless — requires being attacked first
- The speaker is SERIOUS in tone while saying ABSURD things
Dark Humour
- 'Roars at you as you're dyin'' — death made funny
Alliteration
- 'roaming round'
- 'beast... beast'
- 'very, very'
Rhyme Scheme
- ABABCC in each stanza
- Last two lines are a rhyming COUPLET (punchline)
Onomatopoeia
- 'roars'
- 'lep' (comic spelling of 'leap')
Repetition
- 'lep and lep again'
- 'very, very hard'
Comic Understatement
- 'This simple rule may help you learn'
- 'If you have any doubts, I guess / He'll give you just one more caress'
Personification
- Animals 'greet', 'hug', 'smile', 'weep' — human actions
Tone
- Mock-serious, playful, ironic
- Deadpan delivery of ridiculous advice
8. Why This Poem in the Syllabus?
1. Light Relief
Between Frost's seriousness and Norris's animal-rights message — Wells gives us COMEDY.
2. Irony
Teaches IRONY in a vivid, memorable way.
3. Fun to Memorise
The bouncy rhythm and silly images stick in memory.
4. Critical Thinking
Students must UNDERSTAND that the poem means the OPPOSITE of what it says.
5. Gateway to Humour in Poetry
Introduces limerick-style verse, dark humour, and comic poetry.
9. Common Mistakes
-
Taking the poem literally — It's IRONIC. The 'guide' is a JOKE.
-
Thinking the poet is stupid — She DELIBERATELY gives useless advice. That's the humour.
-
Missing the dark humour — 'As you're dyin'' is meant to be FUNNY, not tragic.
-
Confusing leopard and tiger — Tiger = stripes. Leopard = spots (and leaping).
-
'Crocodile tears' is literal — NO. 'Crocodile tears' = FAKE tears. Proverb. A crocodile weeps while it eats you.
-
Chameleon = invisible — NO. It CAMOUFLAGES. 'Nothing on the tree' = it's there, but blends perfectly.
10. Vocabulary
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Tawny | Brownish-yellow |
| Noble | Grand, impressive |
| Discern | Identify, recognise |
| Peppered | Scattered, dotted (with spots) |
| Lept | Old/comic spelling of 'leapt' (jumped) |
| Caress | Gentle, loving touch (IRONIC here) |
| Nonplus | Confuse, bewilder |
| Merry | Cheerful, happy |
| Chameleon | Lizard that changes colour |
11. Lessons / Morals
- Don't take everything seriously — irony is a valid literary mode
- Nature is not a petting zoo — wild animals are DANGEROUS
- Some advice is useless — learn to identify it
- Humour can teach — you've now memorised key animal traits
- Everything has a lighter side — even being eaten by a tiger (in a poem)
12. Worked Examples
Example 1: Irony
Explain the irony in 'How to Tell Wild Animals'.
- The poem pretends to be a useful guide for identifying wild animals. However, EVERY method of identification requires the animal to ATTACK you first — the lion roars as you're dying, the tiger eats you, the leopard leaps on you, the bear crushes you. The irony: a guide that can only be used when it's TOO LATE. The humour lies in the gap between the poem's serious tone and its absurd content.
Example 2: Humour
How does Carolyn Wells create humour in the poem?
- Through DARK IRONY (identifying animals after they attack you). Through DEADPAN TONE (giving absurd advice seriously). Through COMIC UNDERSTATEMENT ('This simple rule may help you learn' — the rule being 'if he eats you, it's a tiger'). Through REPETITION ('lep and lep again', 'very, very hard'). Through PERSONIFICATION (animals 'hug', 'smile', 'weep'). Through the CHAMELEON stanza ('If there is nothing on the tree' — punchline on camouflage).
Example 3: Comparison
Compare the tiger in 'A Tiger in the Zoo' with the tiger in 'How to Tell Wild Animals'.
- In 'A Tiger in the Zoo': the tiger is TRAGIC — caged, defeated, in 'quiet rage'. Norris makes us feel SORRY for the tiger. In 'How to Tell Wild Animals': the tiger is COMIC — 'just notice if he eats you'. Wells makes the tiger the subject of a JOKE. One poem uses the tiger for sympathy; the other for humour. BOTH valid — literature contains multitudes.
13. Indian Context
Indian Animals in the Poem
- Bengal Tiger — India's national animal. Found in Sundarbans, Ranthambore, Corbett.
- Asian Lion — ONLY found in Gir Forest, Gujarat (critically endangered).
- Leopard — found across India.
- Bear — Himalayan black bear, sloth bear.
- Crocodile — Mugger crocodile, Gharial (Indian rivers).
- Hyena — Striped hyena, found in western India.
- Chameleon — Indian chameleon (found in southern and western India).
Indian Humour Traditions
- Tenali Raman — witty court jester
- Birbal — Akbar's clever minister
- Folk tales with talking animals (Panchatantra)
- Dark humour in Indian folk traditions
14. Conclusion
'How to Tell Wild Animals' is the FUNNIEST poem in your syllabus:
- A FAKE GUIDE to identifying wild animals
- Each method gets you KILLED first
- IRONY and dark humour throughout
- Light rhythm, easy to memorise
- UNDERNEATH: respect for wild animals' danger
For Indian students:
- ENJOY this one — it's a break from serious poems
- MEMORISE the animal-characteristic pairs
- UNDERSTAND irony — it's a key literary concept
- KNOW Indian animals mentioned
'How to Tell Wild Animals' — the guide that guarantees you won't live to use it.
